In Which The Crap Is Neck Deep
I could live with Renessme being special. She's half vampire. She is, however, perfect. It's perfection and nonsense and lazy and crap.
They race home. Jacob is there to see if Bella can resist killing someone. She manages to not kill him (pity) and picks up Renessme. She's two days old and gigantic, which is lazy. She smells like food, but Bella can resist. Lazy.
But do you know what the kicker is? The ultimate lazy shortcut?
The baby is PSYCHIC.
Gods. Just... gods.
Oh, Bella figures out the imprinting thing and tries to kill Jacob. Again. And fails. Again. How does she fail? I've no idea. It seems like a mother who found this out AND had superpowers would have little difficultly snapping Jacob's head from his neck and eating it. Of course, Meyer wants Jacob around in a few chapters so the werewolves can fight the Volturi, so that's probably what saved him.
SumUp Fuuuuuuuuuu
You know why babies are hard? Because you don't know what they want. Because they may not want anything. Because they're figuring out a world they don't understand while you struggle to get enough sleep at night for months on end.
Not Bella. She has a perfect baby. More specifically, she has an artificial, facsimile of a baby that she won't ever have to do anything about. It's artificial. It's fake. It's nonsense. This is lazy on a truly epic scale.
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