In Which I'm not typing out all these idiotic chapter names.
Jacob is at home, trying to pick a fight with Paul, who, I'll remind you, has imprinted with Jacob's sister Rachel. Aside from making you a emotional robot, imprinting seems to work like weed because Paul is crazy mellow, man, and Jacob is totally harshing his TV slouching time. The real reason Jacob wants to tussle is to vent some frustration at the no-news he's getting from Bella and her scheduled wahperizationism. Jacob is imagining scenarios and whatnot and finally bails for the beach where Quil and his two year old fiancee Claire are playing pick-a-rock. It's a touching moment, or it would be if, well, you know.
Jacob asks Quil if he's planning on dating anyone while Claire is illegal to marry in every state and country on earth in the history of ever, but Quil's lobotomized brain can't fathom such silly concepts as dating anyone who isn't a toddler.
Yes, I am going to harp on this. This is the most repulsive idea in any mainstream media that I've ever encountered. I don't care how "big brother" this is portrayed, it's an emotional lobotomy combined with loving an infant. To go into any greater depth of depravity would require an disgusting imagination that I do not possess.
Sam howls to break up this little romantic beach game and Jake goes wolf and they get a big-ol' update on Mrs. Cullen. Bella is sick with some kind of "jungle rot" and so forth. Jacob goes berzerk, assuming the obvious, and Sam tries to convince him to stay put. Jacob is having none of that and trots off to kill Edward. I hope he does.
SumUp: D-
So we get some actual irony (Jacob thinking one thing that we know is not true), so that's somewhat interesting. It would be an actual point in Meyer's favor if this were the POV that we'd started with and she'd somehow communicated to the reader a point of information that Bella overlooked, or in any other way stuck to the limitations of first person perspective that she established through the first 3.5 books, but I digress.
Without scoring the already established horrorshow that is imprinting, this chapter starts well enough but it's just treading over dramatic territory that we've already covered. Jacob is a whiny, mopey baby when he doesn't get his way and the rest of the Wolf Pack is alternately psychotic and nosy. Why the pack isn't backing Jacob on what seems to be an obvious breach of their truce is glossed over and what we end up with is a boring retread of things long established and worn thin. Yawns between gagging over Claire & Quil
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