T.04.07 Unexpected

In Which Unexpected = Lazy

Weeks pass. Boring dream sequence. Edward leaves the island to hunt, Bella wakes and makes some chicken, but it's rancid. Or she's having morning sickness. I give it half a page.

Bella finds "a blue box", which I assume is some kind of feminine hygiene product (love that vague euphemism) which inspires her to do a little date-math, which results in her realizing she's late. Oh, I mean LATE. You know, in that soap-opera tone you have to say "late". That was quick.

And her stomach is showing. (?!?!)
Her stomach is showing?
Right, so they start arguing/discussing and Alice calls and they talk to Carlisle and Bella is pregnant. REALLY pregnant.

Now a little internet research reveals the "fruit scale" for pregnant ladies.

•   12 weeks a fetus is the size of a plum. 
•   16 = apple. 
•   20 = grapefruit.

This puts Bella at 20 weeks pregnant, which either takes us back to waaaay before the wedding or Meyer has vampire babies grow at some astonishing rate. Bella insists it's the latter and they start to plan their evacuation.

Hey, it's the cleaning staff. Guess who knows Bella's all preggo? Right, That Kaure lady. Wow, that's going to make for great fireside stories back at the mainland. She's also peeved at Edward and they have a page of conversation that we don't get to understand because Edward doesn't bother to translate. At the end, she tells Bella she's doomed to die (or something). Edward insists they'll "take care of it" and Bella figures out what he means by that.

Before they leave, Bella calls Rosalie.

SumUpD

Bella is pregnant and it's going to go by fast. Why? Because Meyer doesn't want to deal with it, I assume. Now I could be wrong, but I'm betting we get the fast-forward pregnancy and fast-growing baby so we can get to the point where Bella's superbaby appears and shows us all how wonderful it is to have kids, minus all the problems that real pregnancies involve and real babies inevitably bring. None of that for us, though, it's going to be a few weeks of life-threatening baby-growing and a big, ugly birth and vampirization for mommy. Ugh.

But I can't score on what might happen, I have to score on what did:  The Rosalie ending is great, the rest is pure crap. This is the big pregnancy reveal? Morning sickness and a magic bulge? Crazy local lady whispering doom in a language we don't understand? Yeesh.