T.04.04 Gesture

In Which The Reception is Boring as Well

So the wedding was awful from a literary perspective. How's the reception? Dull.

Bella meets and greets and dances and it's just tedious! The new vamps appear and they're exactly what you'd expect. Bella dances. Fastforward to Cake. Fastforward to bouquet. Fastforward to more dancing. What's the rush?

There's a good bit where Edward is mind-reading Mike and not liking it.
There's a horrible bit where Edward points out that Bella hasn't seen herself in her dress.

Really? Seriously? What planet is this again?

Whatever, finally we get to see a wedding dress. You know what? I'm a guy and I'm curious. Aren't teen girls going to want paragraphs about it? Maybe that's sexist, but we get 2 whole sentences as Bella checks her reflection in a window.Yeesh.

Jacob arrives and they have the most tedious conversation thus far and then dance. Bella reveals her honeymoon plans and Jacob freaks out. It's moronic. Jacob is technically right on this one, at least from what we've been told over and over and over. Bella is a moron for revealing this tidbit and the other werewolves have to drag him off so Edward doesn't.... I don't know, tussle with him? We've no reason to think it would be an easy fight and Meyer sure as hell isn't going to give us any action.

Finally, Edward and Bella say their farewells and we get the only well-described, well-paced, believable moments in this train wreck. The final few paragraphs are touching, but it's much too little too late.


SumUp D

D is for DULL. Dull, dull, dull, dull, dullards and dullness and yawn fest duhhhh.





I'm not naming or tagging guests. They weren't really there, they were window dressing for a boring little play.

Again, Meyer has a chance here to break out the descriptive machine gun and she balks. There's ample opportunity to explore Bella's feelings after the ceremony but it's all simple and flat and lifeless until the very end. Why is Jacob torturing himself? We don't know. Why is Bella revealing her future sex life to Mr. Third Wheel Ex-Boyfriend? No clue. Another at-bat for Ms Meyer and she's watching all the literary pitches slowly drift past the plate. Maybe she put all her effort into the climax of the book... or the honeymoon.