Twilight Saga: Eclipse SumUp

SumUp Total: F

Three down, one to go.
Really, that effectively sums it all up thus far. I've persevered through 3/4ths of this cluttered mess of literary daydreaming and I count that as an accomplishment. If I slog through the final quarter will I learn anything new? Care about any of these characters? Will I actually be entertained? Can I put this on my resume?

No. But I will read it anyway.

As with the other books, the beginning of the novel manages to almost convince me that there's a story somewhere. The characters hint at growth, the plot peeks in every once in a while to suggest forward progress and there's even a few entertaining moments. That will all be firmly dashed against the rocks of reality when things must happen and Meyer once again destroys everything that she's managed to set up.

The GOOD:
The first half of the book, at least in certain parts. The love triangle is tiresome and drags for an eternity, but it gives Meyer a platform to have interesting conversations, emotional outbursts (not really growth, but still) and some real conflict. There's also the Rosalie backstory, the history of the Werewolves and the Jasper backstory. Yeah, it's BOOK 3, but I'm grasping for anything of interest in the morass of this idiotic love triangle. The Rosalie store especially gives us a tangible reason for the character's actions to this point. Better late than never.

The BAD:
The love triangle has been going on since the beginning of the second book and has been boring since the beginning of this one. Edward left and there was a reason to go on about it up to the end of that book, but we're now at the END of Book 3 and it's still going on. Jacob's first sexual assault was morally repulsive, but it made for realistic drama. The results of that attack, though, are disgusting. Charlie becomes a lecherous old man cheering on the exploits of his preferred son in law. Jacob is smug. Edward is insanely forgiving.

The UGLY
Hang on.

• The "she really wanted it" revelation. Hooooly moley.
• The endless damsel in distress of Bella. For THREE BOOKS.
• The constant undermining of Bella as a protagonist.
• The INFURIATING refusal to SHOW us the climactic battle.
• The manipulative nature of Bella.
• The manipulation of the reader by putting Jacob and Bella into bed together. 
• The ridiculous "dreaming" so Meyer can avoid the rules of first person perspective.

The REPUGNANT
Imprinting as an idea is horrifying enough. Adding toddlers to the mix is sick. There's no other word for it. Gods.

SumUP: F
The book is endless love triangle arguments and negotiation, Jacob vs moron Edward and when we finally get a climax, Meyer just can't resist hamstringing Bella. This was a chore.