T.03.25 Mirror

In Which We Find Out How Much We Missed

Edward talks Bella down, again thinking she's all crazy scared of his battle fury or something. It's really drawn out. Then (as mentioned last chapter) we find out that Sam was just fine, you didn't need to cut yourself to save him, silly girl. You're sooo silly.

Oh, and Jacob got all hurt, so assuming anyone still gives a damn about Jacob, you should be really worried.
OH and the Volturi are here.

Right. So Jake is on his way back to La Push to heal and the werewolves aren't too interesting in meeting Vampire Royalty. It must have been a really awesome battle, though, because Jasper got all bit and there's a pile of dead newborns and they even managed to capture one: Bree. She's actually interesting, don't get attached though.

So it's Jane, Felix and two other unknown vampires along with Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper. They discuss Bella's lack of vampire traits (we're working on it!) and the crazy awesome battle we didn't get to see where they killed 18 newborns. Jane interrogates Bree about Victoria and the rest, then kills her. Carlisle and the others try to talk her out of it, but rules is rules dontcha know.

SumUp D-

Jane is suitably menacing and clearly the villain for the next book. Big yawn until the next book then.
Bree is very interesting and would be a great dramatic arc, but nope she snuffs it.
The drama with Jacob is clearly false, you know he's going to survive.
Crazy awesome battle might as well not have happened, the only Cullen injury is Jasper, who has a new scar. Wow, that was close.

So what we get is yet another anti-climax. None of this feels exciting and everything resolves so simply and cleanly that you hardly notice. You know what would have been dramatic? Keeping Bree alive as a side plot. Having someone in the family actually DIE. Killing a werewolf. ANYTHING but showing up AFTER the battle to see the boring results.

What do we get? An inventory. Imagine a WWII movie where a soldier just tells you how many Nazis his unit killed without taking any real damage. How very exciting.