T.03.21 Trails

In Which Stuff Continues To Not Happen

Alice warns Edward and Bella that it'll be snowing in the mountains, so you know, pack for cold weather and such.

Then we get Alice begging Bella to do her wedding. Clearly the pixie wants a big, fluffy wedding and Bella's more of a sweatpants and plastic flowers kind of girl but Alice wears her down and Bella agrees. Alice also notes the giant rock on Bella's wrist but Edward stops her from making a big deal about it so I guess this either means something or we're just supposed to be in awe of Edward's ability to procure large, precious stones.

B&E call Billy so as to get Jacob moving and they go set the fake trail, leading the newborns and Victoria. Super clumsy girl hurts herself and uses the new cut to lay down some blood on the trail. Good thinking, except we get Edward trying to help clean the cut and Bella stopping him because (as we all know) he can't be near her blood or he'll kill her all kinds of ways. Now having read the first book, we know this is nonsense, Edward is just fine around bleeding Bella. He reinforces this, telling Bella he "got over it". She's surprised for reasons I can't possibly explain.

They reach the clearing and Jacob takes over, picking up Bella and riding her back to the campsite. He, too, notices the big rock on her wrist. Bella still doesn't get it.Yeesh.

Now that he has her alone, Jacob launches into an aggressive campaign to get Bella to admit she loves him and to give him another kiss. Of course by "another" I mean to willingly give a first kiss. Bella tells Jacob that Edward is staying behind and dodges his lovey-stalkey conversation. Jacob also says he'll be sticking around until the Newborns arrive. The conversation shifts to Jacob's rank in the tribe and pack, and he reveals that because of his bloodline, he's essentially on deck to become chief whenever he wants it. Great system, guys.

Edward arrives and I have a very real moment of cognitive dissidence. For the last two books I've enjoyed reading about Jacob and Bella and loathed Edward and Bella. Now, I'm relieved to have Edward return so I don't have to endure Jacob's incessant begging for love and attention.

SumUp D-

Tedious, tedious and more tedious. From Alice's whining about the wedding to Jacob's whining about not being loved to Meyer's constant highlight of a giant rock on Bella's wrist, this chapter is just dull. I was so excited ... somewhere back in the teen chapters? Maybe? Has it been that long? Anyway, somewhere back there we had a plot. Yeah, everyone took forever to figure out the Victoria angle, but Irving's socks it was an actual conflict and we had so much book ahead of us!

Sadly, all that book has been involved in the incredibly longwinded planning of the upcoming battle. Honestly, all they've done is practice fighting and set a false trail. That's it. That's maybe 2 chapters worth of story but here we are in chapter TWENTY ONE. What else did we get? Wedding negotiations. Endless begging from the dog. Endless mopey put-upon Edward trying to get tiny little favors from Bella, who supposedly loves him. There hasn't been an ounce of new characterization beyond third-rung characters at the graduation and party.