In Which Edward Gives Bella Grief For Getting Dumped
Edward left her for her own good. That's the theory I'm guessing he's going to toss out there. Then they were both miserable and blah blah. Let's see how far off I am.
Bella wakes up (shot) and they have a big midnight heart-to-chiseled chest. Dead lump of heart-mass. Whatever's left of Edward's blood-pumping organ.
Edward's been miserable. Aw. He's been hunting Victoria (poorly). He recounts, again, why he was killing himself (not out of guilt, but because Bella was dead). He covered all that already, dontchaknow. Were you paying attention?
Lots of eye emoting. I counted 5 (agonized, fierce, liquid onyx, sincere). Take your time. I'll wait. You'll want it.
Edward gives Bella serious grief about getting dumped. By him. Because she believed him when he lied to her about not wanting her anymore. She believed he didn't love her. You know, the 17 year old girl with the longtime inferiority complex and inability to believe you love her truly? That girl? Who was just sort of feeling slightly comfortable in the relationship? She believed it when you, the super hot statue of a vampire told her that you didn't want her anymore and then your whole freak family moved to another continent. I mean, the nerve! So this is totally her fault. Because dumping her in the forest after being a cold hearted (er...) bastard and then moving to AFRICA is clearly just a ruse that she SHOULD HAVE SEEN THROUGH if she'd just LOVED YOU ENOUGH. Arrrrrgggggg!
Dahl's socks... I'm just ... I'm honestly angry at this point. Seriously. I'm angry at this book, at Meyer, at this stupid version of Edward, at this... whole moronic situation. This is twisted... How do you possibly come up with this? As an author, how much abuse do you really feel you should heap on a character. Is this supposed to be romantic? Realistic? What? What? Gods, WHAT? Are we supposed to identify with Bella here? Are we supposed to agree with Edward, that she deserved this somehow? That she was at fault, in any single tiny arrrggghhhhgha[poa[]-3t90a'pldfac., nhy hnhjyu7
I just want to take a moment to point out that I read every chapter more than once. The first is a pass through so I get a feel for the flow of the book, so I'll do 3 or 4 chapters at a time. Then I read each chapter and take notes, then I reread it to make sure I haven't missed anything. I have yet to get past this point without stopping out of pure outrage and disbelief. I have notes scribbled with so much rage that the page is torn. I've thrown things. What little, tiny bit of connection I had for either of these characters is dead. Completely dead. There's nothing left. Ugh.
SO Edward dumps an impressionable young teenage girl for whatever reason. When that doesn't work and they get back together he gives her crap about her not taking him at his word. Even in some bizarre universe where a guy would actually have this insanely stupid thought pop into his head during the reconciliation, WHO WOULD ACTUALLY SAY IT OUT LOUD? How do you possibly think this is .....
Look baby, sorry I dumped you. Why did you actually think I was dumping you? Was it me saying "I don't want you" or "you're no good for me" or "We won't bother you again" or implying that my love had changed to something else? I didn't mean any of that! Was it us moving half a planet away? You're so stupid for believing it. What am I going to do with you? WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO SEE THROUGH MY LIES!?!?!?
PHILIP K DICK'S ... ARMPIT can you be any more condescending? Any more demeaning? Any more self-righteous? Is this guilt-trip actually going somewhere? GODS this is the worst, the absolute worst thing about these books yet. THIS conversation, this abomination of "love" that I'm stupidly trudging through. This is worse than the climax of the last book and the creepy sleep-watching and the sparkles combined. This is abuse. Pure and simple emotional abuse. "This is why I hit you" type abuse. He's abusing her and this is a ROMANCE BOOK. Why? Why? Why? WHY? WHY? WHYWHYWHYWHY?
Taking a break. There's honestly partt of a chapter left and I just can't.
...........
At this point Bella doesn't want to believe that Edward is back and loves her, and I can hardly blame her. He's grovelling and CHIDING HER at the same time for her lack of faith in him.
Edward tells Bella he was on the verge of coming back, having crawled into a tiny ball and cried himself to sleep over her accepting his break-up that he was going to come beg for her to take him back. Long. Deep. Breath. I think I cracked my keyboard.
So he was going to beg for forgiveness (I'm assuming) before, you know, she all jumped off a cliff and made him go try and kill himself. Because... I just don't know why. I'm just fuming and seething at this point. It boils down to Edward telling Bella that sitting around and being the Damsel in Distress plan should be her go-to option. Don't try and do things while I'm not there, I'll come back and rescue you, just sit around and wait. Ugh.
Bella decides she's pretty much had it with life and gets Edward to take her to the Cullens for a vote on her vampirization. Why a vote? Because it affects them, I guess. I really couldn't care less at this point. She's dead to me, might as well be dead in the book.
SumUp F minus minus asterisk dollar percent etc.
I don't have a grade below F-. I'd rate this a Z- if I did. I want to burn this book and douse the ash with salt so nothing can ever grow there again. I was ok with this book, even with Edward the joy killer right up to ... but no. This is too much. This is like an episode of Cops.
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