In Which We Briefly Go To Prom
Dear Ms. Meyer. An Epilogue is classically not just another chapter in the story. I'm not going to argue about it, but I don't see why you didn't just call this chapter 25, especially since you clearly had a sequel already in the works when you finished this.
Charlie is upset... off-camera. I mean, why should we care what's going on with him? Bella doesn't know she's going to the prom (are you serious?), Tyler still thinks he's taking her, Edward lets him down hard over the phone. Then Bella and Edward go. Jacob is there to cut-in and annoy Edward and warn Bella that "We'll be watching". "We" being his father and the Tribe. He doesn't like doing it and brings up "superstition", so he's still not a Werewolf or still isn't in on the fact that anyone else is. I guess this is supposed to reconnect us with the beach party and remind us about the Werewolves.
Bella worries and complains about the dancing until they get there and, like everything else built up to be impossible thus far, this task too turns out to be simple because of Edward's presence. Problem dismissed. Edward +100 Dance Partner.
I'm having a little trouble with the timeline. Bella is in a cast, so several weeks could have gone by since she disappeared to Phoenix, but I don't have it in me to care. Bella confesses she thought Edward was going to put the vamp in her at some sort of gala event, he's upset, they dance. He kisses her. There is eye emoting, just drink as much as you feel necessary at this point. It won't help.
SumUp: D-
I'm absolutely drained by the last chapter and honestly this one doesn't add anything to the missing climax or resolution. It's a tiny nod to the life Bella left behind, but all the events we -should- be seeing are off-camera or ignored altogether. Why do we care about Jacob? He played almost no part in the plot. Why aren't the people we should care about here? No idea.
Rantapaluza next time. I swear.
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